By Noah Choi
This story is about how God restored my relationship with my parents when I punched my dad in the lip at the beginning of 2021!
Prior to that time, I was finishing up my undergraduate studies at Biola University during the COVID 19 pandemic. I was not taking care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually, and I was fed up with being stuck at home, feeling disappointed by ending my time in college on Zoom, and feeling overwhelmed with dread and existentialism, trying to figure out what to do with my life after college.
While all of this was happening, I was building up hatred and resentment towards my parents. This is because they were telling me to do XY&Z to help me with my stress and anxiety instead of listening to me. They said that it was my fault that I was so anxious and depressed, and it made it seem like I chose to be depressed and anxious. These feelings were building up inside of me for about two months.
Then, on January 1, 2021, I got into a huge screaming match with my parents before going to my grandparents for Korean New Years. One thing lead to another, and I sucker punched my dad in the lip, and he fell down. I was frozen. I couldn’t believe what I just did! Growing up as an immature teenager, I always fantasized about beating my parents up because of my resentment towards them, but I never imagined that this dark fantasy would turn into a dark reality. The worst part about that moment was that I was going to do much worse than punching my dad. Thankfully, through putting on supernatural wisdom and compassion, my mom calmed my dad down and told me to go upstairs to my room. They came into my room, and we talked about it.
Five minutes later my dad forgave me for punching him! I was confused. How could He forgive me for this? He should have kicked me out of the family by this point, and yet, what was even more confusing was what he said afterwards. “You punching me is the best thing to ever happen to this family.” He said this to ease the tension of the moment, but what I didn’t realize then was how prophetic that was.
It has been a little over two years since that punch, and my relationship with my parents could not be any better. We are more open to talking and listening to each other. We are now more open to discussing our issues and learning to love and support each other. I have a bigger capacity to submit to my parent’s authority and not seeing them as heroes or villains, but as humans who are also figuring out life. My parents have opened up more about their own shortcomings, having a humble posture of knowing more than me but also being dependent on God.
I am not saying that you should punch your dad (or your mom, or anyone) to achieve forgiveness and reconciliation. What I am saying is that God can redeem and restore all things. As my dad forgave me instantly for punching him, God forgives us for our sins against Him, which is basically us punching and beating up God. No one is ever too far gone for God to do something miraculous.